Comings and Goings

It's been another week of big events and great changes
as Tom flies in from Boston and out for Dakar - the
bookends of 5 days of family, ocean play, beach fires
and great food of all kinds

We started Wednesday night with Mexican from Taqueria
La Victoria in San Jose - meeting Tom as he came off the
plane and gathering all the boys (and Misty) for feasting
on really GREAT Mexican food... something Tom found sorely
lacking on the East Coast the last few months...

We slid into beach walks and afternoons of fish and chips
and then right into Trader Joe's for all the good fixin's for
Brochetta (spelling?)... late night cribbage games and crazy
blacksmith's puzzles... a room full of people silently twirling
and twisting tiny bits of metal to see if they could either:
take them apart
or
put them back together

Saturday the puzzzles continued to call people to them as the
rest of the boys arrived and fell captive, one by one...

But a break to hit the beach and play frisbee and skimboard,
body surf and wrestle on the sand and compete in hand walking and
handsprings got everyone in perfect prime for Tom's grilling
of beautiful rib-eyes... with fresh salad and potatoe salad we
had a great feast before we headed back to the beach for fires
and fun with Daniel - master pyro of the moment.

Somehow Sunday slipped away without anyone noticing, nibbling
left overs and spinning little metal shapes into and out of place
again until we all had the art perfected... only to forget how we
did it and have to start again...

Monday everyone was busy - back to school, and back to work, Tom
and Carsten went in for one last office meeting with the whole gang
before Tom flew out... A small cadre of us met at Chili's near
the airport to feast one last time together- this time Tom had a
burger - another item not found on the short list in Dakar...
and finally, reluctantly, we took him off to his plane.

By now he is well over the Atlantic and in another 5 or 6 hours
he will be returned to Teresa and Africa in the middle of the night
local time, which seems to be the only way they do things there...

I imagine him sleeping on the plane, a full day of travel
and waiting to travel already under his belt.

Sweet dreams, Tom! Sleep long and deep.. and wake up just in time
to watch Dakar rise up beneath thee... and find Teresa at the other
end of the walk from the plane.

Time Keeps on Slippin'...

The other day riding with Daniel I heard Steve Miller's "Time Keeps on Slippin' Slippin' SLippin' into the future" playing on the radio.

One of those great songs that takes you back in time and makes you think about time in the present all at once. At least for me.

This year seems full of fast action and change and certainly feels as if it is slippin' slippin' by even faster than ever.

Tom was home visiting for more than 2 weeks, which seems plenty of time, except that it's all a memory now. We did get to do some great things. Raku, sailing and dinners out eating great chinese food and fresh fish down at the shore. poof! all past now.

Watching the world turn as Daniel prepares to graduate high school and none of my children are children any longer. Mom slips ever closer to finding the internal resources to let go at last. Nieces and nephews marrying and heading off to college as my own life reshapes for another move into new territory closer to the ocean...

Some years it seems as if life is steady and certain, and the gentle patterns of our lives coninue unchanged and unruffled. This is not that year.

Eggshells

In this great silence
There is one sound

my own breathing

moving life in and out.

My insides feel splintered
but somehow don't

cause the rest of me
to collapse

come apart...
Or stop breathing.

This strange sensation
as if the world is
made of eggshells

all cracking at once

a million fine lines
disintegrate

the world.

Coming To Terms With The Information Age

It's a fascinating thing this world we live in.

In the modern western world and more and more
parts of the less modern global community, it
is perfectly possible to educate oneself, for instance,
in the field of chemistry... Or astronomy... Music,
the arts or literature...

Or, even... Quantum physics, or the theories of new thought...

Any of these disciplines and hundreds, or perhaps thousands
more...

are all available for us to choose. To learn and become knowledgeable about.

How could any one of us fail to find something. Something.
Of interest. Worthy of pursuit.

One hundred years ago, our lives were so vastly more restricted
In terms of time. In terms of access to information. In terms of
sheer man hours required for basic living requirements.

Yet most of us remain.

Stuck in the era of another age.
Grappling with questions far more relevant to the
generations which came before us than to ourselves.

Unable to understand, transcend, or become
the next possibility

Instead we become
the latest statistic.

The intelligent age is far more than upon us.
Our children and grandchildren are born in and of it
knowing it
living it

We can choose

To become lost
in the sea of noise

Or to stitch our perfect thread
through the eye of the needle
into what pleases, amazes and delights us
and entertains the world
as well.

Do not look for what great problem needs solving
They come of their own accord.

rather, look for what dream needs investigating?
What stirring of curiosity, intent and joy
calls me forward. Right now. Today.

The evolution of our own world in our lifetimes
is evidence enough

Our ability to identify and find what we seek
is directly corollary to our ability to intelligently search.

The one thing that is a requirement of an infrastructure
based on knowledge and information is
a damn good librarian.

In fact, a reference librarian is the only one who
will do.

These are the questions that our intelligent search
will want to know:

Why do you want to know about [subject matter] ?
1. Academic interest 2. Practical application 3. Theoretical application 4. Market research application
In what context are you seeking to know?
Beginner
Intermediate
Advanced

As we become more accustomed to the idea that
we are now living in the age of ideas (for all
that everyone rants that the last thing they need is "one
more good idea") we will get much better at organizing the
information we have access to and interface with.

In the meantime, it's a brave new world for
internet newbies in 2007.

It is not the world I stumbled upon in 1993...
When computers spoke to each other in languages,
and screens of DOS text and dial up interfaces
gained you access to universities, bulletin
boards and local computer networks.

until then
we'll have adsense
and everything
in between

we didn't know
what we had
or what we didn't have
before the white noise.

Honest Spiritual Anarchy

It's a funny thing this, being in the world and not of it.

Scenes pass. Morning walks over landscapes now familiar
roll through the rythym of time like pearls.

To actually live the focal point of holding the alignment
highest and best, for all, in all directions.

As the thoughts rise in your mind
of concern for another... You know.

You have transgressed. Diververgance from that which is
possible to that which is "likely" in a world fraught with
"what is" observation and conclusion.

How long does it take us to figure out...
that the observations we make
are all
of the past?

Not the inspired visions that
spring forth from the now
but the old has been
what is
were/when/was
of our
already
consumated
concluded
thought?

What is so dangerous
about
looking into the future
with an
open heart
and an
open mind

?


There is nothing
so frightening
as the
stories
we
tell
ourselves.


Get over it
Smile
Dream
Envision

The good times
are
about
to
roll.

Holding the Vision

Stepping past the point of wishing and into dreaming and creating requires focus...
That is true enough. But it also requires vision. Without a guiding vision to lead us toward what we are seeking we have no map to achieve it.

But holding a vision of something not yet attained can be tricky business.

After all. We have all this evidence around us of what we have not achieved. It is, quite literally, in our face. Every day we live, we are surrounded by whatever our current level of focus brings us. And even more powerfully, what our focus up until now has been, which forms the foundation of our perspective.

So how do we step out of that "what is" and into our dreams? We practice, bit by bit, expanding our ability to envision where we long to go.

In the beginning it feels false, if we are really good at perceiving the "what is" and going along with the world's point of view. We no longer even notice the subtle shifts in our physical, emotional, and mental bodies as we step into the space of looking from the outside rather than feeling and sensing from within.

One way to begin to explore these two perspectives of our being, is to pay very close attention to how we feel as we move from a space of solitude into spaces inhabited by others. But even this is difficult for many of us to achieve as our lives are so full of others we find no space to engage ourselves outside of the presence of observers, and hence, our split awareness.

Walking in nature can often shift our perspective back to that clearer, inner awareness that flows from us effortlessly. Indeed, a chance encounter with another when walking in solitude is an excellent opportunity to observe this inner and outer shift of our perspective. First we are expanded, being drawn through our senses outward into the natural environment. We are basking in the beauty of the scenery, the feel of the air on our skin, the color of the sky... Then we are yanked back into our bodies, as our encounter with another human brings our own body awareness into sharp perspectives - and often our awareness of their awareness of us is even more powerful than our own sense of our selves in that moment. We "shift".

Have you ever watched children who were in their own inner space? They are content, involved, engaged. Busy. Their imaginations are gallivanting across the landscape of their interior and exterior worlds freely. No boundaries.

We, on the other hand, have become split. Or perhaps better stated our world has become split. Our world is "what is real" and "what is pretend, or imagined" and we have relegated all our power to the reality and left the imagined out of the equation. From the time we are little we are told "don't make things up" and "Tell the truth" as if our outer experience were the only relevant and reliable source for information. When we invent imaginary friends we are told to remember that they are "pretend" and "not real". When we encounter fairy tales or stories we are reminded that they are stories, not the stuff of real life...

It is no wonder that most of us have trouble when it comes to holding a vision.

Unless we have some clear, defined and strategically aligned outer world road map to take us to what we want, we are told that we are "dreaming" if we think we'll get there. But we cannot find that map if we think we have to create it out of the "what is" of our present experiences; because the place we want to go is not contained in the place we are. It is not available to us from there. From our limiting beliefs and thoughts we are unable to escape the "real world" and move into the larger expanded version of ourselves we dream of.

It is only from our inner vision and imagination that we can access such power.

Of Manifesting Bread Machines... and Other Things...

This afternoon as I put together the dough for fresh bread rolls to go with tonight's dinner, I couldn't help but ponder the manifestation of my bread machine...

I usually use it to make the dough for me... from there, I take my work to the oven where my rack with eight bricks serves to bake me up something more exciting than the squared up loaf the machine has to offer.

Since it has a setting for this, bread making now consists of throwing everything in the machine, setting the buttons and coming back an hour and a half later to make the bread. Cool.

Bread machines.

So I have wanted a bread machine for a while... one of those things you want but never really get so involved in as to buy... I've made bread since college and no matter in what household I was living, fresh bread made everyone my best friend...

From college room mates to young children, to adult children and spouses... everyone to a man will take fresh baked bread whenever he or she can get it. :)

So this skill can make you popular.

And being as big a fan of the stuff as any of them, I actually took the time to hand knead and make the dough, for going on 30 years! WOW.

You can see why I didn't do it so often. Being as it takes a whole afternoon to make bread by hand, and is, no matter how you slice it, a messy proposition. Bread making is INVOLVED when you have to have a solid flat surface and two hands connected to strong arms to make it happen!

So I had always wanted a bread machine... but I had never really "gotten around to it" to get one...

Last Spring my son was in a high school production of Grease. He needed some kind of funky clothing for his part, and we went off and outfitted him from various locations around town. One stop was the Salvation Army Thrift Store in Gilroy; which, frankly, is one of my favorite places to find cool stuff like baskets, new forms for pottery molds, and all sorts of other cool things.

On that day, as we came in to the store, I just happened to notice a large basket right away that was exactly what I needed for a project I needed a basket for. So I snatched that right up. :)

Then I looked around and saw ... not one bread machine, but two!

Huh. I thought...

Upon closer investigation, one was an Oster, and even had the instruction and recipe book along with it. Price 7 dollars and something.
I smiled.

I had my son tote it to the counter to be plugged in and make sure the little lights came on and so on... yup. Turned out there was a store wide discount that day, so my bread machine only ended up costing 5 dollars. LOL

Can we just say, it ROCKS?!

It is down there right now as I type this, happily churning away and making me a lovely dough to form into rolls. How cool is that?

What strikes me about these kinds of manifestations, is that for the most part in life, we don't really take them in. We don't consider how cool it is to have just what we want show up without any effort on our part and simply cross our path.

When compared to manifesting your life partner or a house, we think "oh this is just the small stuff" it doesn't really "count"...

But in the end, the larger manifestations have a different level of commensurate responsibility tied to their outcome that the smaller ones do not...

In other words, you have to live up to being ready to handle being in a relationship for the life partner to really show up; and with a bread machine, well, it's okay either way... use it or not... it was only 5 dollars, after all!

So when we think about what was fun, and what is fun in life, often it is these smaller less dramatic moments or events. There are different levels of satisfaction that can be achieve through finding the perfect sized tray for your stove top and manifesting the purchase of a home.

Not because the energy of creation is different, it isn't. But because our own involvement and engagement with the end result requires us to step in to a more expanded version of our self in order to accomplish, or achieve or maintain that new larger thing.

"Oh," you may say. "I don't have to be ready to really live in that relationship for it to show up in my life. I'll learn how to do that after we meet." But the truth is, that if you are not ready, willing and able to stretch and grow in all the ways that a relationship will stretch and grow you the chances of that relationship being the long lasting one are slim to nil.

Even if that was your "soul mate" or whatever.

I think I had as much fun this afternoon remembering how that bread maker showed up in my life as I did using it. Which is the whole point, isn't it? If we can't figure out how to enjoy the journey (usually because we are so busy trying to figure out how to either "get it right" or "be right") then we've really missed the whole thing.

The other interesting thing about the larger manifestations is that they continue to change over time. Even the relationships we create change. Not that we grow apart, necessarily, but that the depth and breadth and scope of the relationship expands and changes.

The perfect house eight years ago is no longer the perfect house. Experience has added huge and vast amounts of information which have changed a lot of our original ideas as we interact with the house... So maybe we fix it up, or sell it and get another one. Whatever we do, we are now in a long term relationship with the manifested object/relationship/circumstance.

So our larger creations, being larger, tend to change is in ways that are larger than we may sometimes anticipate. Their meanings and our experience of them produce results we are, quite literally, unable to contemplate before we have moved somewhat along the continuum of the expierence. Whereas our smaller, simpler creations are free to answer anything along the entire spectrum of any number of fun, interesting, exciting or simply personally meaningful possibilities.

And now, it's time to make the bread!